Back to All ArticlesCaring for Aging Parents Pt. 1: Resources for Women in the “Sandwich Generation”
- Caring for Aging Parents
- Long-Term Care Planning
- Caregiving
It starts subtly — a missed bill payment, a forgotten appointment, or a fall in the bathroom. Suddenly, you’re navigating medical decisions, researching care options, and coordinating with siblings while juggling your own family and career. You’ve joined the sandwich generation.
The average caregiver is a 49-year-old working woman.1 And women in the “sandwich generation” — those caring for children and aging parents simultaneously — are often balancing caregiving with a career and numerous household responsibilities. Studies show women historically put in more than 296 unpaid hours of caregiving annually.2 As a result, they must plan their time and resources carefully and proactively.
One critical step is preparing a care plan for aging parents before they need it. It can feel overwhelming to learn about all the possible care options, but here’s the good news: you don’t have to navigate this chapter alone. There are many resources available to help you plan ahead, so you and your family are equipped and empowered when necessary.
In the first of this two-part blog post, we’ll share how women approaching this time of life can start and build a caregiving plan for their parents. In part two, we’ll discuss when to implement your plan and highlight resources to help lighten the emotional and physical load.
Care for Aging Parents: When to Start Planning
Beginning the conversation about finding the right type of care for your aging parents can be delicate, especially if they’re still living independently. These discussions can feel uncomfortable — even taboo. But remember: planning isn’t pushing them out; it’s protecting their dignity and honoring their wishes.
One gentle approach is to frame your concerns around avoiding stressful decision-making during a crisis. This can help address potential fears that you’re trying to take control of their money or independence.
Here are some questions to get the discussion started. We suggest asking these over time rather than all at once:
- “Mom, I know this isn’t fun to think about, but if you were in an accident and couldn’t tell us what you wanted, how would you want us to handle decisions about your care?”
- “Have you thought about where you’d like to live if daily tasks became too challenging? Is staying at home important to you, or would you be open to a community that offers support?”
- “Do you have a power of attorney or advance healthcare directives in place? Are there policies, accounts, or important paperwork we should know about in case you’re unable to make decisions?”
It’s normal to feel guilty about these discussions, but starting early gives everyone time to process and plan thoughtfully rather than making rushed decisions in a crisis.
Build Your Care Plan in Three Steps
Once you have an idea of your parents’ wishes, you can begin planning for their care. Here are three essential steps:
1. Understand Your Parents’ Financial Resources
Healthcare costs often rise as we age. It’s important to understand whether your parents have the financial means to pay for their future care needs before discussing what type of care they may want. You’ll also want to determine whether you (and your partner, if you have one) would be willing and able to cover any of these costs using your own resources if necessary.
2. Determine If They Have Long-Term Care Insurance
Long-term care insurance helps cover the costs of care when someone can no longer care for themselves due to a prolonged illness or disability. Here’s what you need to know:
- What it covers: The policy may pay for services such as help with daily activities like bathing and dressing, home healthcare, adult daycare, and care in a nursing or assisted living facility. Check the policy details to confirm which expenses qualify.
- When it’s activated: Under most policies, the policyholder is eligible for benefits when they can’t perform at least two out of six “activities of daily living” (ADLs) on their own, or when they suffer from dementia or another cognitive impairment. ADLs include bathing, dressing, eating, toileting, transferring (moving from bed to chair), and continence.
- How it works: Typically, a daily coverage benefit is available for everyday care costs. That daily benefit may or may not increase with inflation, depending on the policy’s terms. Policies will specify which types of care are covered, whether licensed caregivers are required, and how reimbursement works.
- Action step: Schedule time to review your parents’ policy together, or help them request a policy summary from their insurance company so you understand the coverage details before it’s needed.
3. Assemble Your Caregiving Team
While not necessarily a formal staff, consider who you can contact to help answer questions, offer guidance, and shoulder caregiving responsibilities when needed. Here’s who to include on your team:
- Family members who can do check-ins, rotate responsibilities, and be immediately available in an emergency.
- Local trusted contacts if you don’t live nearby; consider asking a trusted neighbor or close friend if they’re willing to check in on your parents and help with light tasks like ensuring trash goes out and the house stays clean.
- Medical professionals, such as a general doctor, specialist, or home nurse, who are familiar with your loved one’s situation.
- A geriatric care manager, an advocate who helps manage medical care and housing decisions, serving as a neutral third-party liaison between the family and other relevant parties — a contact that may be especially critical if you don’t live near your loved one.
- Your loved one’s professional team, including lawyers, financial advisors, and accountants, who can help manage applicable paperwork and decisions.
Caring for Aging Parents: How Quantum Helps
Taking the time to plan early, gather information, build a support team, and develop a thoughtful plan that considers your parents’ wishes is the beginning of making a potentially overwhelming season more manageable. At Quantum, we help clients in the sandwich generation understand financial implications, coordinate next steps, and create a plan that gives the family more peace of mind. If you’d like to learn more about aligning your decisions with your long-term goals and your parents’ wishes, please contact us.
Start This Week
Ready to take the first steps? Here’s a simple checklist:
☐ Schedule a conversation with your parent(s) using one of the discussion starters above.
☐ Locate important documents (power of attorney, advance directives, insurance policies).
☐ Talk to your financial advisor about integrating potential care costs into your financial plan.
Stay tuned for part two of this series, when we’ll discuss key indicators that it may be time to put your plan into motion and share additional resources to help shoulder the load.
DISCLOSURE: Quantum Financial Advisors, LLC is an SEC registered investment adviser. SEC registration does not constitute an endorsement of Quantum Financial Advisors, LLC by the SEC nor does it indicate that Quantum Financial Advisors, LLC has attained a particular level of skill or ability. This material prepared by Quantum Financial Advisors, LLC is for informational purposes only and is accurate as of the date it was prepared. It is not intended to serve as a substitute for personalized investment advice or as a recommendation or solicitation of any particular security, strategy or investment product. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Quantum Financial Advisors, LLC and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. No advice may be rendered by Quantum Financial Advisors, LLC unless a client service agreement is in place. This material is not intended to serve as personalized tax, legal, and/or investment advice since the availability and effectiveness of any strategy is dependent upon your individual facts and circumstances. Quantum Financial Advisors, LLC is not an accounting or legal firm. Please consult with your tax and/or legal professional regarding your specific tax and/or legal situation when determining if any of the mentioned strategies are right for you.
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- Caring for Aging Parents
- Long-Term Care Planning
- Caregiving
Wende Headley, CFP®, MBA, CDFA®
Wende Headley is the Chief Executive Officer of Quantum Financial Advisors, LLC. Wende is also a Financial Advisor directly to clients and a founding partner of the firm.
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