Executive Women: A Tip for More Work-Life Balance
Here’s a System That Helps Rebalance Work, Home, and Wealth Tasks
On a recent Tuesday, a highly successful female executive client was at her wit’s end. We were meeting at noon, and the client (let’s call her Laura), who is typically polished and articulate, was exhausted and frazzled. Laura shared that her husband was overseas on business, her babysitter was out sick, she was up all night with her three-year-old, and her eight-year-old’s diorama project had crumbled into pieces on the way to school. On top of that, Laura had an important board presentation at 10 a.m. Thankfully, her youngest child was feeling better and her board meeting went smoothly, so Laura was finally able to breathe again when we sat down to discuss her financial objectives.
After our conversation, I reflected on all the “extras” Laura and our other female clients often juggle. They dutifully soldier on — some days barely surviving — with work-life balance rarely seeming feasible. Is that even a thing?
Statistics show many mid-career female professionals are juggling all the time. Dual-career households are increasingly common, with around 60% of couples relying on both incomes to cover living costs (1). More women than ever are working, leading, and earning as much or more than their spouse (1).
While this progress in economic opportunity is fantastic, working women — particularly those with families — still face historic gender-based challenges, often shouldering a disproportionate burden in balancing home responsibilities with their career ambitions (3).
What does all the juggling mean for women’s finances?
Constant juggling of work and household responsibilities often leads women professionals to delay financial planning, downshift their careers, or bypass promotions, with enormous implications for their income, long-term earning potential, and savings. Additional challenges arise from the gender pay gap (6) and later-in-life divorces. So-called “gray divorces” have doubled in recent years, with many women over 50 experiencing a 41% drop in income, a 73% decline in the standard of living, and a roughly 50% reduction in retirement savings (7). This can make it monumentally harder for women to recover financially, especially if they’re closer to retirement or still caring for young children.
Enter Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
One solution worth consideration is the system introduced in the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. The book outlines an easy-to-follow, research-based system to help couples align household responsibilities, avoid resentment, and find more joy. Eve’s system has made a big difference for several women we know by reducing their stress and helping them regain their sanity.
The Fair Play book and card system can help couples:
Reclaim their time by prioritizing what truly matters to the family and dividing household tasks more equitably
Free women to focus more time during the workday on their careers by reducing the otherwise ever-present mental load required to keep the household and kids on track
How Fair Play Works
The cards (see below for examples) make the top 100 household tasks visible, with each partner choosing cards based on their values and strengths. With no “right” number of cards to hold, the key is to create a feeling of equity, which may not mean equality. Upfront clarity and visibility reduce conflict and allow partners to identify where a shift in balance is needed, share responsibilities, and set clear expectations.
Why Fair Play Works (and Why You May Love It)
The book provides a structured approach for implementing the system (and in some cases even scripts) to help ensure it is received well by both partners in a way that isn’t off-putting. Here are a few tips and tools that are particularly useful:
Make the Load Visible: Dividing up the cards to show who is handling the tasks today helps highlight how women often become the default (“she-fault”) for many of them. The book makes an objective, researched case for sharing responsibilities.
Define a Minimum Standard of Care (MSC): Partners take the time to define "task completion” in their own household to reduce misunderstandings. For example, “What is considered a tidy house?”
Define “Conception, Planning, and Execution” (CPE) for Household Tasks: Tasks often involve invisible work, including emotional labor and mental drain, and partners may not agree on what it takes to “own” a task from start to finish. For example, taking on the kids' sports probably means more than attending their games — someone also needs to manage signups, buy gear, figure out carpool plans, prepare snacks, etc.
Avoid the Top 13 Mistakes Couples Make: The book shares the most common challenges couples face in dividing the workload and provides useful tips for how to navigate them.
Leverage Communication Tips so Your Message is Heard: The book’s sample scripts are helpful, especially when one partner doesn’t see the need for a shift in responsibilities. The book underscores that successful task sharing depends on many factors, including when and how changes are suggested so no one feels nagged, dismissed, ignored, or undervalued.
Supporting Our Busy Clients
Many of our clients are high-achieving professionals with demanding careers, busy households, young kids, and aging parents. The Fair Play system resonates and allows clients to align on which tasks each partner values and begin sharing responsibilities more equitably.
We’ve seen how households have greater connection and joy when both partners feel heard and valued. Contact our team if you’d like to learn more about how we can help you reach financial peace of mind.
Sources
1)The 19th. “Even when women make more than their husbands, they are doing more child care and housework.” 19thnews.org. Apr. 13, 2023. https://19thnews.org/2023/04/even-when-women-make-more-than-their-husbands-they-are-doing-more-child-care-and-housework/#:~:text=That%20was%20true%20through%20the,often%20taking%20up%20more%20housework
2) Dinks Finance. “Shocking Stats: What Percentage of Households Are Dual-Income in Today’s Economy?” dinksfinance.com. Jul. 16, 2024. https://www.dinksfinance.com/2024/07/shocking-stats-what-percentage-of-households-are-dual-income-in-todays-economy/#:~:text=Current%20Statistics%3A%20National%20Averages&text=According%20to%20the%20U.S.%20Bureau,for%20maintaining%20household%20financial%20stability
3)The New York Times. “Why unpaid labor is more likely to hurt women’s mental health than men’s.” Nytimes.com. Sept. 30, 2022. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/30/upshot/women-mental-health-labor.html
4)CBS News. “Even "breadwinner" wives do more housework than husbands.” cbsnews.com. Apr. 13, 2023. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/women-breadwinners-tripled-since-1970s-still-doing-more-unpaid-work/
5) Psychology Today. “Women Carry Most of the Mental Load of Running a Household.” psychologytoday.com. Nov. 10, 2021. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/202111/women-carry-most-of-the-mental-load-of-running-a-household#:~:text=Women%20shoulder%20a%20disproportionate%20share,to%20psychological%20distress%20for%20women
6) The Darden Report. “Why the Gender Gap Persists in American Businesses.” news.darden.virginia.edu. Apr. 4, 2024. https://news.darden.virginia.edu/2024/04/04/why-the-gender-pay-gap-persists-in-american-businesses/#:~:text=Women%20have%20progressed%20a%20lot,it%20was%20twenty%20years%20ago
7) Kiplinger. “The Divorce Gap: Unique Retirement Issues for Women Over 50.” Kiplinger.com. Oct. 20, 2022. https://www.kiplinger.com/retirement/the-divorce-gap-unique-retirement-issues-for-women-over-50#:~:text=According%20to%20research%20by%20the%20Government%20Accountability,of%2041%%2C%20versus%20only%2023%%20for%20men.&text=Women%20earn%20about%2020%%20less%20than%20their,into%20company%20401(k)s%20and%20other%20retirement%20accounts
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